Welcome to another episode of Explode Your Expert Biz Show, brought to you by http://gtex.org.uk/,
I am your host, Simone Vincenzi, The Experts Strategist, and this is the podcast for experts who want to become the ultimate authority in their niche while making an impact in the world.
If you want to make 6 figures presentations and become awesome at Selling From The Stage without compromising your integrity I have created The Ultimate Selling From Stage Checklist.
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Today I have the pleasure to Interview Meg Osamwonyi
Meg is a mum of 5, a performance-driven success coach, counselor, and consultant with 25+ years of Senior Leadership experience. She has a well-earned reputation of helping professionals and women in business succeed at putting themselves first, freeing up more time, increasing productivity and earning more.
She believes it’s not about overworking yourself or running yourself to the ground. It’s about knowing what you’re worth and going for it.
If you are looking to take your business or career to the next level, Meg can help you achieve just that. She focuses on results by creating the step-by-step plan to make sure you are focusing on the necessary activities to achieve your goals on time. So you can move right onto your next goal.
She has helped multiple businesses and leaders reach the next level and she’s ready to help you do the same
In this episode, we talk about
- How to put yourself first
- How to create more income without burning out
- How Meg was able to turn her life around.
Connect with Meg Osamwonyi
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/megosamwonyi/
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/meg.osa/
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If you want to make 6 figures presentations and become awesome at Selling From The Stage without compromising your integrity I have created The Ultimate Selling From Stage Checklist.
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– Hello ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to another episode of Explode Your Expert Biz show. I’m here with the one and only, Meg Osamwonyi, how are you doing Meg?
– I’m well, thank you. Happy to be here.
– Fantastic, beautiful red dress and red earrings today. You’re bringing the fire here on the show.
– Thank you.
– So we are talking about women and we are talking about how can women put themselves first. Now, in particular, in business. I mean, I’ve been coaching a lot of women through our courses and yes, I found that there is a difference between men and women. I found that a lot of women, they sometimes think about more, first about other people and the family and the kids and that the responsibilities that they have way more than men do. I think it’s just how we are different in the scenario. I know that a big part of your work is focused on women to help them making sure that they can put themselves first, they can do what they want.
– So how did you end up doing this?
– I ended up doing this because of my own life. I spent a better part of my life, I’m a mother of five.
– Beautiful five children. And doing that, and I’m married doing that, I found that things I wanted to do for me are placed in the back burner.
– I won’t say I’m not happy with my life, I’m happy with my life, but sometimes there’s also somethings within you that you know you want to achieve. But when life happens, it looks as if you’ve been ambushed into doing other things and forgetting about you. So that actually made me, woke me up. A lot of things woke me up to make me say no, I’ve got to put myself first. I’ve got to do something for me because when I do something for me, my children will see that. That I upkeep me. I value me. They will also value themselves. So that brought me into coaching women, women in business and women professionals, that putting yourself first because you as a woman, you are your most valuable resource. When they recognise that, then all other things follow. So it’s a passionate thing I do in my life.
– At what point in your journey, actually, what was your background before you were doing this?
– My background, I don’t, are you sure you have time for this?
– Yeah, very quickly. I don’t need a full story, I just need your–
– All right, not a full story. My background, first of all, I was a lawyer first. From law, I didn’t like it, I moved into technology which I loved so much. I was working as a technology director. I loved my job but then it got me redundant. Redundancy forced me to now re-think my journey, re-think my life because I got time too. I wasn’t putting me first. I put my job first. Everything fitted around my job. Even I sacrificed my family for that. So when I was made redundant, I kind of went through a bad patch where I began to feel I was not good enough. Why would I have been made redundant when I was doing a lot for the company. Most times failure is a blessing in disguise. When it happens, we don’t think that way. But the benefit of hindsight, you begin to see. Something happened to wake me up. It was actually my dad. To make me remember who I am and where I come from. So with that, it woke me up to say, no, I’ve got more in me. So that put me on the journey to say, because I know that I love helping people, looking after people and helping them with their businesses because that’s what I did while working for another man’s business. So with that energy, I put it into my own business.
– And how was the transition because you come from a place where, and a lot of women that are listening right now, they may come from a place where they are just used to put everything as first and did it happen overnight for you to switch and say now I’m thinking about myself after the redundancy or was it a longer period transition? How did you deal with the shift?
– It was a challenging time, I will say because I went through times of doubting myself. Doubting, maybe I was not good enough. But like I told you, my dad woke me up to remind me of who I am and where I come from. And he also said, he always told me that to find gold, I have to dig deep. And the question for me was, he say, he asked me and said, “Margaret, have you been digging?” I knew I hadn’t been. I knew I hadn’t done all that because I was wallowing in self pity because I was made redundant. I saw my self as a failure. When that realisation came I knew I hadn’t done what I was supposed to be doing. That woke me up because I knew I had more in me. But then the journey was not straightforward. I had to re-think my things I wanted to do. And that’s the benefit of choice. When you are self-aware, when you know what you want in your life and you know within you you’ve got that potential, then you are able to now evaluate your life and say, what do I want to do? That is what I did. Being aware of who I am. I woke up and said what am I best at? What is my passion? And that was where coaching came in because I did that a lot. Coaching people, helping them out, counselling people. So I went in to do a counselling and a coaching degree. The process was a long one but I found it was what I wanted to do.
– You mentioned it was your father that told you about digging deep and that supported you in that period.
– How important is it in a period of transitioning in particular, for men or women as well, in particular women in the topic of this interview, how important was for you having someone by your side reminding you that you had to dig deep and supporting you throughout this process?
– Oh, I think it’s extremely important because when you have somebody there by your side, cheering you on, because when you are at your lowest, or when you are feeling not good enough, when you are feeling the failure, sometimes, most times, I will say, you need somebody else to pick you up to say come on, you’re better than this. That’s where you have your network, you have someone. They are there to help you do that.
– Yeah, it’s–
– Yeah it’s so important having those people around you. If you’re a man or a woman, it doesn’t matter but is it important that you have those people that in particular in those moments where it is difficult. You are changing a lot of things. In particular what happened to you. You had to re-invent yourself and it’s easy to fall into the mind trap of not not feeling good enough because now like a lot of people do, if you associate your identity with the work that you do, the moment that the work or the job you’re doing or the business you’re having doesn’t happen anymore, then you have a complete loss of identity.
– And that’s what happened in a lot of these scenarios and that’s why I really love the work that you do Margaret. It’s really important. So, let’s say, I know there are a lot of women listening right now and they will be thinking, okay, what can I do? I’ve put other people first in my life. I’ve put my family first, I’ve put my job first, I’ve put my friends first, I never put myself first. Where do I start?
– You start, it’s a journey of self-awareness. By being aware of who you are. Because when you start putting people first, it comes from people pleasing. It comes from wanting to help others, wanting to be needed and we can never satisfy everyone. But the deal is to start putting yourself first is you finding out what you are passionate about, what do you like. Do I spend time with me? No, you can have your family, it’s good, I have my family. But then there will be times where you spend time with you and enjoy being with you to re-evaluate, to ask yourself and say, what do I love doing for me? The moment you begin to do that and enjoy it, I have clients where for example, they don’t ever have a moment with themselves. They are always with this person or that person or that family or the children of whatever. But then when I ask them, “Would you spend time with you?” They find it strange. And then we start to work and say no, you are your greatest resource. Some people think it’s time, it’s not time, it’s you. Once you put that investment in you first, then all other things follow. So we begin to work on them, finding what they love and I tell you, when they begin to do that, they find joy. And when you find joy because you’ve got that time for you, then it will show how powerful you are in all the things you’re doing. If it’s work, if it’s at home, whatever it is, people will know you’re present. Only just because you started putting you first. Putting you first means loving you. It’s a wonderful thing to start doing.
– Wow, that’s so powerful. So you talked about finding yourself, you talked about self-awareness. That a starting point. How can someone start the process of self-awareness because sometimes when you’ve put other people or your job or your career first all the time, it’s very difficult to find, okay now, okay I need to spend time with myself, I need to find myself. But where, how? How do, who am I? All these questions. So what can we do to find what is truly important for us?
– Yeah, like I said, it’s a process. If I talk about me and where I coach and counsel my clients,
– I normally start journaling. When you do journaling, I did that for myself and it helped me because journaling helps you to gain more awareness about you. Your thoughts, your aspirations, your success, where you want to go, where you are now, you start journaling. When you start journaling, it helps you a lot. And I’m here to say that I’ve got a free journaling resource that people can download to start them on that process. It helped me a lot. When you start journaling your day, journaling, for example, you set a goal and say okay, today this is what’s happening and maybe things don’t go right. But you journaled it, and you journaled what you’ve learned from that experience so that when you go back to it three or four days later, you take stock and say, okay, that happened and I was able to do this, you take what works and do it again. Step by step, things begin to change.
– Yep, so you start with journaling and I found journaling incredibly powerful, absolutely. And at the end for people that are interested in a journaling resource, Meg is gonna share the links of where you can get in touch with her and download it. And after journaling, then what’s the next step? What do you do with your clients? What can people do?
– They start journaling. In that process of doing that, and also, we tend not to listen to ourselves because within ourselves, our mind, our body, our souls, it’s speaking to us. You go inside it to listen. Because whatever is happening with you or with anyone, the answers are inside because you’ve got that potential inside us. That intuition is there. When you listen more to you, you know where you want to go because most of, the thing about self-awareness, people look at self-awareness. Yeah, we can be self-aware but it’s got to come from inside. It can’t come from outside. So when you listen more to you, you’ll be able to know okay, this is where I want to go. If it’s a business you want to start, you know okay, this is the business I want to start, this is what help I need, then working with a client, they’ll now come back and say okay, this is what I want to do. I want to start my business or I want to get my promotion at work and then we’ll begin to look at it and say okay, how are you showing up? They will look at how they communicate, their networking, how they are at work, how they look at work. How they do the work they’re doing. If it’s a business, how much are they in the business. Are they passionate about that business? Work, do you love your work because when you don’t love your work, you can’t do much there. Or you don’t love your business. You’re just doing the business for doing the business’ sake. It can’t go anywhere. That passion needs to be there. So once it’s there and then you now have your goals to say, okay, this is what I want to achieve, then we have tools that we use to start looking at those goals and we start working on that goals. Every two weeks, we meet up. I evaluate where they are with their goals with the homeworks I give them and all that.
– Yeah, in fact. Talking about accountability, this is one of the most difficult things. In particular if you’ve been putting other people first or your time all your life and it becomes difficult to keep and stick once you then find out what you want to do. There is a tendency of go back to the old pattern and keep putting other people first. So how do you make sure, how can people make sure to actually prioritise themself and make sure that they have time for themself because maybe they, let’s say, someone now, someone is listening here. They found what it is they want to do. Maybe they want to start a coaching business or they want to become a speaker or they want to change career or they want to launch a programme that they are doing. There’s so many things that we can do. How do I make sure, or maybe just can be I need to spend more time for myself without doing any work because I’m working too hard, doesn’t matter which situation is this. What can they do to make sure that actually this time happens, which is not just an empty talk?
– Okay, first of all, if we’re talking about time because most people say, oh, I haven’t got time, I’m too busy, which I think that’s not so. It depends on how you are managing it. I believe in self-management, not time management. Because if, for example, they’re saying oh, I need to do something and I don’t have time, you create the time. For example if you are at work, we find out how you work. I actually help people to free up time so that they can begin to put themselves first. And freeing up time means looking at what they’re doing. Are they working effectively? Are they using the tools at work effectively? Are they not, sometimes you get so distracted and at the end of the day, you don’t achieve whatever you want to do. How are they managing that? So we look at that. That’s the free, they’ll begin to free up time. Sometimes, for example, I have a client. He always complains, “Oh, I haven’t got time, “I’m so busy from one meeting to the other.” And I said okay, I understand that you’ve got lots of meetings. In between, what’s going on? She says I’m waiting for the next meeting. Does your week meeting start on time? “Oh sometimes it’s late, sometimes it’s 15 minutes late.” and I say okay, what do you do with your 15 minutes? “I wait for the meeting.” So I said you see, you are not using that time. When you’re waiting for it, you’ve got 15 minutes. 15 minutes you can achieve a lot. Use that 15 minutes to do something tangible. She says oh, you think so? And we implemented that. While waiting to go into another meeting, you’ve got 15 minutes, schedule up something. Look at your goals, you map out goals and look at it and say okay, you can do that in 15 minutes. You pick something you can do in 15 minutes and do that within that time before the meeting. And then at the end of the day, you find that you are gaining more time because you are being fruitful. You are being productive.
– This is so powerful because we have all the same amount of 24 hours in the day and I can fall into the trap because I love working in my business and my wife asks me to do something, “Can you please go and pick up this parcel to the post office?” I’m like oh, I don’t have time, I’m too busy. Then I have to catch myself, I’m like. And she actually is great, she reminds me all the time. “You don’t have time? “Really, you don’t? “But your time is running out right now.” I’m like yeah, okay, you’re right. I’m going to pick up the parcel, I’ll find time. So we always have the same amount of hours. We always have the same amount of time. It’s about how do we spend and a lot of time as you suggested, is looking at what you’re currently doing and then seeing actually what is it from all the things that I’m doing right now, what is not serving me or what is not moving me forward in my goals and then eliminate then, suddenly you’ve maybe created already two, three hours in a day.
– I stopped watching television about seven, eight years ago and I didn’t watch any news, I didn’t watch any television. I will watch Netflix when I want to watch something but I’m in control of what I want to watch.
– You are in control of, yes.
– It’s not just spending time and surfing through channels like I was doing before then suddenly three hours have gone where has the time gone? So I think one of the biggest thing in particular for business owners as well is scheduling downtime. So how do we make sure we can schedule downtime and how do you do that also in your life or in your business?
– Scheduling that time, yeah. You know we have our goals and most of the time people say oh, I didn’t achieve my goal because they don’t put things down. When you write things down, I’ll work on your most, I call it MIT. Your most important things. You pick three things in the day. Don’t pick it because you feel this is easier, it’s got to be important. Three, and say today I’m working on this. And you write it down and put a timer on it. When you achieve that, then other things can come.
– Right, right. So you’re speaking of something that is tangible like two or three things that you can do and then if everyone is listening and has struggled to create downtime in their life or to create relaxation time then can apply the same. One of the three things. It might be your downtime that is important for you. For example I play basketball and for me my basketball training is in my calendar. I don’t miss it. If there is something else that comes up, if a client wants a meeting, no, I’m not available. If there is a speaking engagement that want me for a day, no, I’m not available because the time is already scheduled, I’m busy right now. Okay, so Meg, is there something else in terms of putting ourself first that we haven’t discussed, that we haven’t talked about but is important to share?
– No, I think we’ve shared most of the things but what I want to say is, because people might say oh, what’s she talking about putting yourself first, putting yourself first? What about all the other people you have in your lives?
– Yeah, very good point, yeah.
– Yes, people say that. But I’m not saying don’t look after people in your life. What I’m saying is when you look after you, for example, you find somebody, you’re all on the floor. And somebody wants to raise somebody up. Can you do that? No, because you’re all on the floor. Somebody needs to be standing to pick the other person up. So where I come with my put yourself first, when you are full, when your cup is full, from your overflow, you’ll help somebody else. Helping somebody else, you will do it selflessly. You will do it without expecting anything in return because you’re doing it with everything in you. But when you keep helping, helping and forgetting about you, it creates resentment. You will become frustrated, say what about me? But nobody has done it to you, you have done it to yourself. So worry abut you first. You look after you. From that, you overflow, you can then use it for somebody else. And you will do it joyfully without any remorse. That’s where I come from.
– Wow, I absolutely love it Meg. This is a great message to wrap up this conversation because I love the metaphor of if you want to lift someone up and you’re all on the floor, you can’t. Someone needs to be standing. So it’s about creating that balance. So you’re putting yourself first, it’s not about forgetting about others completely and being selfish, it’s not just about that. It’s about giving yourself what you need to keep moving forward so then you can give even more to others and that’s what I’m hearing you saying. Meg, thank you very much for this interview. I absolutely love, loved, loved, loved this conversation that we had. Now you’ve been a Gtex member for a bit and why did you decide to join Gtex?
– I decided to join Gtex because apart from, to grow my business the community, the connectedness, being a family, like right now, I look at Gtex as oh, that’s family I’ve got. When I speak to members or we chat, we have our meetings and all that, I feel that sense off belonging. To me it’s wonderful because I come from a country where everybody, we do things together. So being in the UK and being a member of Gtex gives me that as well so I don’t know how to quantify that. It’s wonderful.
– Oh, thank you. Really appreciate, thank you for your kind words and that’s what Gtex is about. It’s about doing things together, it’s about growing ourselves as people, as business owners, and our businesses together because together we can achieve more than by ourself and that’s our philosophy. So everyone who is listening, if you want to know more, how you can become a Gtex member, there is a link in the show notes. Make sure you check out the link and book a call with our team. We’ll see how we can help and support you. Now Meg, I know there are people that women that have been listening to the show and they want to say okay, I want to reach out to you Meg, I need some help or I want to follow you and see the work that you’re doing. How can people get and touch with you?
– My website is megosa.org, megosa.org. And my email address is firstname.lastname@example.org.
– Brilliant. And you mentioned a free resource, the journaling resource, before.
– It’s actually on my website.
– That’s on the website. So megosa.org you can find the journaling resource, you can connect with Meg and you can send her an email. Now make sure you get that resource because in particular if you want to find out more about yourself and you want also to start prioritising yourself, this is the very, very, first step. Meg thank you very much. It’s been great having you on the show. You’ve been fantastic.
– Thank you.
– And I’m looking forward to have you back on the show as well.
– Thank you very much, thank you.
– All right, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening or watching, it’s been great having you here. Remember, remember, remember to always put yourself first and one of the things that you can do for yourself is to subscribe to this podcast so then you are, you get great information and connect to amazing experts like Meg so subscribe to the show right now and until next time, remember that together, we grow exponentially. Ciao.